Start with Self-Awareness
To drink less and still enjoy social events, it’s helpful to first be honest with yourself about how consuming excess alcohol impacts social events for you. This is not about shaming or beating yourself up. Instead, it’s about deciding why you want to limit your drinking.
Ask yourself:
- What are some ways your current level of drinking is not working for you at social events?
- You might ask yourself, How do I want to feel before, during, or after this event?
Consider how it might feel to attend the event with more clarity and intention. This can help motivate you to change your behavior.


Create a Plan Ahead of Time
It can be very empowering to start with a plan for drinking less at parties. Decide in advance how many drinks you plan to have. One way to come up with the number of drinks is by using the CDC’s “low risk limit” drinking guidelines. These are the maximum number of drinks recommended each week to limit the possible risks associated with drinking alcohol.
- Men under 65: No more than 14 drinks per week
- Women and men over 65: No more than 7 drinks per week
- Per occasion limits: 4 drinks for men, 3 for women
Any more than that is considered a “binge.”
One reason the number is lower for women is that they lack an enzyme in their stomach that breaks down alcohol. So, you might factor in how many drinks you already had that week or plan to have the rest of the week, while also avoiding exceeding the binge drink number.
Coming up with a plan for tracking your drinks can be helpful. You can jot down your drinks on your phone, on a napkin, or on paper. The app Unconscious Moderation offers helpful journaling prompts, movement practices, and hypnotherapy, which can help provide tools and motivation to keep you on track with drinking less at parties.
To try to stick to your plan, you might want to adhere to some social drinking tips. First, alternate alcoholic drinks with something nonalcoholic like water, soda, juice, or any nonalcoholic drink on offer at the event. If there’s a nonalcoholic drink you really enjoy and it’s appropriate for the event, consider bringing some with you. It’s also really helpful to avoid gulping or drinking your alcoholic drink quickly. Instead, sip slowly. Put it down in between sips. Take time to savor the taste. Really make it last. If there’s a type of alcoholic beverage you know you have a hard time limiting, consider skipping that. If you love wine and it’s really hard to slow down your wine drinking, perhaps have a beer instead. Avoiding shots and hard liquor is often a good idea. Maybe set limits for what time you can start drinking at the event and what time you stop. This might involve leaving early.


To stick with moderate drinking, take time to focus on the nonalcoholic part of the event. Find interesting people to chat with and make an effort to listen and connect. Use all your senses to take in and enjoy the food, music, décor, and event venue. Continue to remind yourself why you are doing this. And take some time to congratulate yourself on this healthy, positive step you are taking. Changing your relationship with alcohol at parties is a wonderful step toward greater inner growth.